December 2nd, 2024
You can count on some stress during the holiday season, even if it’s the happy kind. There’s the decorating, the gift-buying, the cooking, the socializing, the cleanup.
For many caregivers, the season of joy presents another set of emotional challenges that can drive stress levels through the roof: Being in a mood to celebrate when your loved one’s health has declined or you’re exhausted, alone, or both.
How can those tending to a loved one celebrate the spirit of the season while juggling their caregiving obligations?
“The biggest thing is ask for help, which can be extremely hard for caregivers because they’re used to giving,” says AgeWays social worker Chelsea DeNio.
“Lots of times, other family members will offer help, so take it. Maybe go back to people who’ve offered help in the past and you didn’t take it,” she says. That might be asking a friend to pick up groceries or watch your loved one while you go out for a while.
If you can’t offload some of your responsibilities, you are likelier to burn out.
DeNio is a caregiver, too. To free up time, she uses the internet to buy gifts and groceries. It’s an amazing time-saver and eases some of the main stressors of the holidays, she says.
Change up some rituals that may not work for your loved one, too.
“Simplify traditions where you can, or start new traditions,” says DeNio. “Things don’t have to be the same every year. Let’s say you’re a caregiver for your mom and your mom is typically the one who has led the holiday baking in the past, and that’s something the family has done together. With her physical limitations she might not be able to bear weight. Set her up at a table where she can still participate in a different way.”
Give the gift of self-care to yourself.
Whatever you do to relax, whether it’s taking a bath, meditating, cooking, working out, napping, reading a book, or zoning out in front of the TV, take the time to indulge.
“Do whatever makes you feel whole again, whatever recharges your battery,” says DeNio.
Using a respite program like an adult day center is another option for caregivers and loved ones who could use a break. If cost is a factor, ask a friend or neighbor to watch your loved one for a bit, she says.
“During the holiday season there is pressure to be cheerful, to be more social. For people already feeling overwhelmed or down, it may not be realistic to feel cheerful,” says DeNio.
Recognizing your limitations is a good first step.
Don’t be afraid to turn down invitations or say no to certain commitments if they will stress you out.
“Set boundaries with loved ones and friends, making sure not to overcommit yourself,” she says.
Say you don’t have a lot of family or the person you care for doesn’t have much to do. DeNio recommends finding holiday events outside of the home – such as a senior center, house of worship, or movie theater. Driving around to look at holiday lights or visiting an area mall to take in the decorations are a few ways to get out of the house and get into the spirit of the holidays.
Call AgeWays Nonprofit Senior Services, a clearinghouse of information and resources to help caregivers find balance in their lives.
A few caregiver-focused offerings include:
